My Friend Ladeen

Time flies. Man, you blink and eye and ten years have passed, or fifteen – it just happens, all of the sudden. Shawn took me over to meet his parents and Grandpa years ago – don’t ask me which year (it was a long time ago.) Anyway, I really didn’t know what to expect, and I’m a bit socially inept, so I was more than a bit nervous.

We pulled up to the Blaser house in Holladay Utah – just a few blocks from St. Mark’s hospital, where Ladeen recently passed away. The Blaser house was small, especially by today’s “standard” of three car garages, and formal living rooms and dining rooms that never get used. I guess it is a bungalow – two bedrooms with a basement that was finished – sort of. There was a toilet and shower, but no walls. And, a bedroom, and “rec room” finished in wood paneling – the sixties or seventies flavor, if you get my drift. I think Scott, Shawn’s brother was still living there at the time. I remember I knick named Scott “Joe Reno” because of all the gold chains and “loud” shirts and cologne that he wore.

Shawn introduced me to Ladeen and she said, “It is real nice “ta” meet you Jay.” Then, she pulled out one of those filter-less Pall Mall cigarettes that she loved to smoke, and lit it up. I did notice that she was smoking it from the “wrong end” (if there is such a thing with filter-less cigarettes; but, I did notice the words “Pall Mall” were on the opposite end of the end she was “puffing on.”) And, of course the lipstick stain was on that end as well. The big thing though, was that she really meant it when she said she was glad to meet me – that was Ladeen – no bull.

Shawn and I would often joke that Ladeen got stuck in about 1965. But, I really think what it was about her and how she chose to live her life was that she saw the basic good in all of us, and that was reminiscent of past days, before all the craziness of living in today’s world. When I first met Ladeen, she was driving a little Chevy Chevette – green in color I think (not sure, my memory fades a bit.) Shawn told me that she had specific routes to the grocery store and hair salon that if she followed religiously, she would not have to make any left hand turns.

Adrian (Ladeen’s husband) would usually be in the basement with Gypsy, and Griz, and I really can’t remember all the other dogs, when Shawn and I would stop by, and the “gang” would come upstairs from watching the black and white TV downstairs (complete with rabbit ears – in the same “rec room” where Shawn stored all his car magazines). I only remember Aide wearing tank tops and shorts (even in the winter I think), except at his viewing when he passed away a few years back – he was “laid out” in long pants and a button down shirt, which, I guess was appropriate for such an occasion, but I know he would have wanted it a bit more casual.

Aide would always greet me with a big smile, and you knew he was glad to see you as well – like Ladeen, no B.S. He loved dogs, and would always ask about Fred, my basset hound, and his pals were always not far from his side. Especially Gypsy – she would go everywhere with him in his big ‘ole yellow van, which was complete with shag carpeting (the carpet a bit stale from all the years of use.) Eventually, the Van gave out on Aide and he bought a Chevy Lumina – just wasn’t the same in my opinion. Aide was much more suited for a full size psychedelic Van. Of course, Aide smoked too, and he would light one up as well.

Grandpa Morgan was living with Aide and Ladeen when I first met them. Lad was a very thin man, very slight of stature. As I recall when Lad was a younger man, he was the grounds keeper at the local baseball park in Salt Lake. He always wore a sport coat, and always had a cigarette in hand as well. And, that hand was very steady, because I think he still holds the record (haven’t checked the Guinness Book of Records though) for having the longest cigarette ash on a cigarette without the ash falling off. I remember one time watching him intently as he chatted on, complaining about how Ladeen was “out to get him” (nonsense of course.) I would watch as he put the cigarette (ash and all) up to his mouth for a puff, and by damn, the ash stayed intact. He would say something a bit off the mark to Ladeen, shaking his head and muttering, “Jesus Christ.” Ladeen would get a bit upset with him and say, “Daddy, if you keep it up, you can just go to your room.” Ladeen always called her father Daddy. With all that smoke in the house, I would have to exit to the outdoors several times during our visits to avoid affixation.

Ladeen was the “glue” for that clan – Shawn’s brother Steve and his wife Natalie and their kids, and Sister Lisa, and her two kids Tyler and Maria, and Lisa’s husband Larry. She loved all of them without condition -- this was the essence of who she was. And that love and generosity really shows in her kids as well. They are all very kind and gentle people, and have taken on many of the traditions in their lives that Ladeen loved – summer picnics, Easter dinner, Christmas, all of the holidays, complete usually with a nice cake and potato salad. I had forgotten about the potato salad until Scott reminded us of it at her eulogy, the secret ingredient being about 5 lbs. of mayonnaise – I got a big kick out of that.

My favorite story about Ladeen has to do with Christmas, and her decorations. She always had the same ornaments and figurines, year in and year out. Ladeen had this little wood train, and each of the train “cars” was a letter that when hooked together spelled N O E L. Well, I am a bit mischievous, and when no one was looking, I would switch the letters around to say L E O N. We would sit in the TV room for a while, and Ladeen wouldn’t notice the change. Finally, we would all chuckle a bit and point it out to her. She would put her hand to her forehead and shake her head – then go over to the “Leon Train” (that is what we ended up calling it) and switch the letters back. Later, we would repeat our misdeed. Eventually, Ladeen said, “Jay, leave that alone. It’s yours when I’m gone, but for now it stays put!” We all giggled at the Leon Train and I would always ask each year wear the Leon train was. I know she got a kick out of it after a few years, when she finally had given up on me switching the letters around.

I will miss Ladeen a great deal. She was exactly who she was to everyone she met, and instilled that quality in all of her kids – and who she was, was a kind and gentle soul who did not see fault, but the good in all of us.

May god bless your soul, and keep you safe Ladeen.

Your friend always,

Jay