The Gorilla from Florida

Sometimes I can be a grump, as I am often reminded by Greg. Anyway, it has been raining torrents here in Denver the past couple of days and we’ve sort of been "held up" in the house. We’ve never been to The Container Store, and thought that might be a good way to spend a bit of time.

We headed out in my little Ford Focus (doing my part for the "carbon footprint" thing.) I guess there were a lot of other people thinking a trip to the Container Store was a good idea as well, since the parking lot was pretty full. I did finally find a place to park, although my "space" was considerabily narrowed by two SUV owners who had not quite figured out what the painted white lines were for – at least that is my kind assumption. Reality is, that these folks probably don’t care how they park or who they might inconvenience, ‘cause after all, the world reloves around them.

Well, anyway, I looked at Greg and said, "Do you think we will be ok in this space, pinched between a Ford Expedition, and Nissan Murano?" Greg said, "yea, we are not going to be here long."

Well, we ended up buying a few things at The Container Store. If you are a "neat freak," which like Greg (and like I am becoming, albiet slowly), The Container Store is a fabulous place. Crate and Barrel is across the street and we decided to head over there to check out their fall merchandise.

Upon returning, I noticed that one of the SUV’s had left, and a guy had parked in the spot next to my car where the Ford Expedition was. (I’ll call him the Florida Gorilla, because of his out-of-state plates indicated HIS SUV was currently registered in Florida.)

And as the Florida Gorilla (FG) was exiting his car, I noticed that he too had a hard time with the "white line" thing. I guess I had enough and said to FG, "Could you have possibly parked any closer to my car?" He came around and said, "Gee, really? You serious dude?" I said, "have you been able to figure out what the white lines are for?" (granted, I was a bit bitchy at that point, but, god, I go out of my way to try and not inconvenience others, and expect others to at least attempt somethin similar.)

Next FG says, "Man, I moved to Colorado because I thought the people here were cool." I said, "we are, but also like a bit of common courtesy and respect." He then said, "man, I thought the Gay Boys were cool here, but I guess not." "Gay Boys?" Where does a nasty out-of-state gorilla from Florida get off calling a 50-something man a "gay boy?"

I guess when these "straight men" get in a pinch, they rely on their built in homophopic responses. All I could think of was, that if I were a black man in this same situation, would he have said, "man, I thought the Black Boys were cool here, but I guess not." Would he have called a 50-something black man a "boy?" Or worse?

We all have gotten ourselves into those nasty little confrontations with people in similar circumstances, and I don’t deny that I can be bitchy when it happens to me. But, do I play the "ass hole" card and resort to bashing remarks because of sex, color, national origin, religion, or ethnicity? No, I call the idiot an ass hole, regardless of who they are, or what they believe in, or who they sleep with.

We can only hope that the Florida Gorilla "high tales" it back to Gator Country as quick as possible.